No Help from the Husband/Partner
Husband/baby father/ partner thinks it is very easy to be a woman. We as the female spices, gone through a lot of different elements and being pregnant is one of them.
Being pregnant comes with all sort of situations/issues and emotions. Such as mood swings, craving for different food at 12am in the night, hygiene, sex, appearance, children (if you are not a first-time mom), shopping for baby, etc.…
What is also not easy is to have growing pains, especially towards the end of the last month of your pregnancy. It is very emotional, stressful, exciting and a lot of arguments. It might be different for other women in the world.
One of those arguments which I had gone through is the false contractions or AKA (also known as) Braxton Hicks contractions.
Braxton Hicks contractions are when you feel like you are in labor, but you are not. It is mainly about your body telling you to get ready for the baby is on his/her way. It feels like you are having mild menstrual cramps and it is not regular intervals. Usually, they are not painful but for me they are. I have several occasions of false contractions to the point of going to the hospital. The contractions do not last very long but it does tighten your abdomen. It might be different for other ladies.
Every-time I had these contractions, my partner would have an argument with me. I do not know why. It has not been an easy pregnancy for me and my partner. I must admit It had been difficult most of the time but when it comes to my children, I do not play. I do not fake. When my body feels pain, I am serious because it is my baby we are talking about.
Unlike me, my partner does not see this. He would leave me alone to my pain. He would worry about himself than about our bundle of joy or our other child. He would end up drinking more and not even check up on us. He knows he is our sole caretaker, the love of my life but sometimes he let his work and stress get to him. Because he let his own emotions and dealings under his skin, he let it out on me who is also unstable due to the pregnancy.
The last time he did this, I let him be. My concern is my children and my own health. And I told him about it. He ends up talking to his “friends” and family and gave him some advice which he ends up apologized for the way he acted and admitting to me it is not easy for him.
At the end of the pregnancy, when I am close to my due date, he is now being there for me. He apologies which are great but some part me believe that he might not support me, and I must do it on my own. I must believe that I can take care of myself and my two children. My husband/partner is there for me now, but I am afraid he would end up back to the way he was before with the drinking and the arguing. I know it takes two to tango, but he does not believe that. He believes that all our issues were caused by me and he has no fault and he does not contribute to it. He claims I make things up and making my pregnancy a big deal when it is not.
When you have an asshole for a husband who does not support you when its times of need. Just ignore him and be yourself. Sooner or later he will forget it or need to blow some steam off for the next couple of days and come back to communicate with you. Look for support in your own friends and family, even other mothers, doctors or even a therapist. Support yourself and take care of yourself first. You have a little one growing inside, and you have a family that is depending on you. If you do not take care of yourself first, everything else falls even your asshole husband of yours.
FYI: Believe it or not, we as a wife in the relationship is the heart of the family. We hold everything together. If we go down, so will our family.